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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25974034">One Lonely Night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dullblade/pseuds/dullblade'>dullblade</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Injury, Drinking to Cope, Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, Tags Are Hard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:55:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25974034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dullblade/pseuds/dullblade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For the 4th time that week, Ethan went to his friend's house. It was thursday. Atticus felt like a failure.</p><p>The oldest two brothers go for a little trip, and the youngest hangs out with his friends a lot, which leaves Atticus alone with his thoughts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>One Lonely Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First time posting, first time writing anything proper (that isn't a school assignment lmao), critique very welcome! Warnings in tags, INCLUDES DESCRIPTION OF SELF HARM AND MENTIONS BLOOD, if you're uncomfortable with this you've been warned!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the 4th time that week, Ethan went to his friend's house. It was thursday. Atticus felt like a failure.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jonathan and Emil, the oldest siblings, had decided to go for a little vacation for a week, brotherly bonding and all that. Initially, it was supposed to be a trip for the whole family, but Ethan being behind on schoolwork (and the teachers piling too much work on Atticus), they all decided it's for the best if only the oldest two go and have a bit of fun. Atticus and Ethan will manage just fine anyway, right? Out of the four Atticus was the second best at cooking, and although the stuff he makes doesn't even compare to the meals Jonathan can do, it's definitely edible. And tolerable to eat, for at least a week.</p><p> </p><p>Still, Atticus' only source of comfort is knowing that the more Ethan is with his friends, the less he has to eat his cooking. On the other hand, that means Atticus, too, is having less of his own cooking. He doesn't really bother making anything proper when it's only him eating, which definitely does not help his already subpar eating habits. He silently chuckled to himself, taking a bite out of a bell pepper like it's an apple. <em>Sure, this is a very nutritios and sustainable after school snack. It's a vegetable. It's good for you.</em> He continued justifying this choice to himself, while pouring a cup of the freshly made pot of coffee. He already knows he will be drinking all of it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few hours pass, which Atticus mainly spent staring at his computer screen, desperately trying to explain to himself why Ethan is not here. Half eaten bell pepper on the table, next to his third cup if coffee. It shouldn't bother him this much, should it? The kid hangs out with his friends a lot anyways, and now that he thinks about it, Atticus and Ethan really don't spend much time together in the first place. He sighs, closing the textbook he nearly forgot he had opened in the first place, taking a big gulp of the too hot coffee. He grimaces, having burnt his tongue, but takes another one.</p><p> </p><p>Beside his schoolwork, Atticus' sleeping schedule is horrible, and with the little free time he has, he prefers playing minecraft. Emil is usually the one entertaining Ethan, playing games with him, or listening to his day, or trying (and failing) to teach him how to play guitar. It's only natural that Emil wants to actually interact with people, right? So it's only natural that Atticus would be alone, by himself. Right? He begins realizing how lonely he really is, with the not-so-distant yelling and bantering of his brothers missing from the background. The funniest thing is, that's the only thing that has changed. <em>God,</em> he thinks to himself. <em>Th</em><em>is has been a long week.</em></p><p> </p><p>He dreads tonight the most - Ethan had asked him if he could stay the night at a friend's place, and Atticus not wanting to ruin his brother's fun, obviously agreed to this. <em>It's not like he would have a good time at home with me,</em> he had thought. This, of course, means that for the first time in a good while, Atticus will be alone the night. That never leads to anything good.</p><p> </p><p>And so, to take everything out of this rare occasion, he decided to start early. By 6 pm, he was pretty drunk, having raided Jonathan's rarely touched liquor cabinet. There he was, sitting on the shower floor, with a decently sized pile of now bloody tissues next to him.</p><p> </p><p><em>what a night,</em> he chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>Atticus never intended to do any actual harm, cutting was simply just a way to wind down, relax, release pent up anxiety. Which he had a lot of. School wasn't the easiest, being pressured to preform exceptionally from all of the teachers, and with a decent load of social anxiety slapped on top, it gets hard sometimes. You can't keep up perfection. It gets tiring so, so very quick, but he's too terrified of the consequences of preforming... worse than usual. So he pushes on.</p><p> </p><p>Was he laughing or crying? Surely he can't be sad, his brothers were happy. Having fun. Without him. So he started laughing louder, tears freely trickling down his face. With a blurred vision, he grabbed the blade again. Stained with dark red blood, it looked quite pretty against the light blue tiles on their shower's floor. But he felt like the combo needed a tad more red. It was, after all, one of his favorite colors. the pile of white and red next to him was very satisfying, but the floor?</p><p> </p><p>With the blade, he aimlessly dug at his raw, pink, bleeding arm. pink, yeah, that was also one of his favorites. He smiled in satisfaction, as more warm red poured out, running down his arm and finally hitting the blue tiles. It's so, so warm. Wishing that comforting warmth could engulf him, he dug in again. And again. More kept coming out, seeping into his relatively new pyjama pants.</p><p> </p><p><em>Emil might have bought these to me,</em> he thought hazily.</p><p> </p><p>He took another chug, the lukewarm liquid burning on the way down. But he barely felt it at this point. His hand slick with blood, he dropped the bottle, pouring the remaining alcohol on himself. Atticus panicked for a moment, the sting of it on his wounds adding to the feeling, but the liquid was clear, not ruining his ongoing color palette. <em>Good.</em> Forgetting the bottle instantly, he tries to focus the attention back on his arm. The warm red still flowing out evenly made him smile to himself. It's so nice.</p><p> </p><p>A distant part of him was afraid. <em>Shouldn't it have stopped bleeding already?</em></p><p> </p><p>His vision further blurred, as the area he was fixated on slowly got covered by more and more red. The warmth spreading, making him feel woozy. Blinking slowly, he looked at the mess around him. So much warm, warm red, covering the cold, unwelcoming blue of the empty house.</p><p> </p><p>He felt... content.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I kinda have a part 2 planned out, but not sure if I'll post it, I'm content enough with this ending for now :) And again, any critique or suggestions for improvements very welcome!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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